I’ve written before about some of the “games” I play with (usually unaware) people. For the most part these are just things that I do to amuse myself (with occasional point values assigned).
The Horror Film Approach
This gets used pretty frequently in the train station and malls. See, I like to actually walk up the escalator, but many people don’t; they also don’t bother to stand the the side, no they’ll either be in the middle or standing side by side with someone. That’s when you have to scare them. This method has been employed in both horro movies and horror games for years. It starts off like this: I get to the bottom (or top if going down) of the escalator and start going up/down and it begins:
The people ahead might look around for a sec and see what the sound was and then proceed to block the way, but then I get closer.
The closer I get the faster I go and the faster the tapping.
Finally, they see me coming at them (I like to imagine a wide-eyed startled expression, which is what I usually get) and generally jump to the side (occasionally they don’t and I have to swat at them). I employ this tactic while at the mall too, slow movers and walkway hogs really get on my nerves. When I want to get somewhere quickly I will speed up the frequency and force of my tap, I live for the variety of reactions. Most people don’t bother to just step to the side, they have to be dramatic: leaping out of the way, snatching their children, flattening against a wall. All they really need to do is step aside, or not walk in a horizontal line or V pattern like they’re a flock of geese. Easy enough, right?
The Hunger Games
Being hungry can wreak havoc on people. We get cranky, judgement could get impaired, there could be physical discomfort. It’s not fun, but that still doesn’t excuse rudeness. It has happened, once or twice that someone decides that I can’t see them so they slip in line in front of me. There are a number of ways of dealing with this situation:
- Ask the person to slip to the back of the line where they should have been in the first place
- I could “drop” my cane and while they pick it up I take my place back
- Ring their ankles like a dinner bell with my cane “accidentally”
- Put my hand on their shoulder and pretend they’re my significant other surprising me in line
- A good old fashioned public shaming. Saying something along the lines of: “really?! You’re going to cut in line in front of a blind man?” (this one works 96% of the time)
Aside from line cutters you have to worry about the folks that want to help you out desperately. They’ll try to take your tray/bag/beverage and carry it for you (even if you didn’t ask for it). There are also a number of ways to deal with these people:
- Thank them and tell them that you have it (unfortunately this is the least successful of the tactics)
- Offer to charge them for carrying your things
- If they just grab it, gasp out loud and proclaim someone snatched your bag
- Offer to carry their food to their table