Tour Guides

It’s time to add to our growing list of “helpful” citizens.  Today I will cover the Tour Guide. The Tour Guide can be found pretty much anywhere and have various forms of camouflage. They’ll pop out of the tiniest crack and offer to assist you in getting to your destination, offer to show you the sights or show you where the “real” people of [insert current city here] go to have fun.  Anyone can fall victim to a Tour Guide; people with disabilities are often seen as easier targets because they are perceived as having a harder time getting away.

You have to be on guard when speaking to a Tour Guide lest they sing their hooks into you and drag you into their pitch, which can last a very long time.  A conversation can go a little something like this:

TG: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Innocent: “Fine.” (trying not to start a conversation)

TG: “You know where you’re going?”

Innocent: “Mmmhmm.”

TG: “It’s just I see you have that cane and I have a cousin who is blind, so I know how hard it can be to get around.”

Innocent: “Nope, I know where I’m going. I’ve lived here for ten years, I know the area really well.”

TG: “Lemme show you this spot though, it’s where all the cool folks go to relax.”

Innocent: “No thanks.”

TG: “I’m gonna show you around and I won’t even charge that much.”

See, at first they come off as just a kindly, good-natured citizen. Someone who just wants to help their fellow man, then they slip in that, for one small fee, you’ll get the secrets to the city. You’ll be an insider, knowing things that others could never hope to learn on their own.  Occasionally, they’ll offer to show you something or take you somewhere and then hit you with a fee, some might call it a “donation.”

The Tour Guides that are only verbal can be annoying, but the one’s that try to act like my own personal seeing eye person are the worst. I’ve had people grab me, want me to grab them, offer me a piece of rope to hold onto or offer to let me hold onto their belt.

TG: “Hey man, you going to the Hyatt?”

Me: “Yep.”

TG: “You know the way?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s three blocks straight ahead.”

TG: “I’m gonna help you out, make sure you get there safely. Grab my belt and I’ll lead the way.”

Me: “I’m sorry, do what now?”

TG: “Grab my belt, it’s no big deal. I’ll get yo’ five dollars when we get there.”

Me: “Oh, no. That’s not gonna happen. Any of it.” [walks away]




People with disabilities have the right to be independent, make decisions for themselves, have access to their community and to achieved goals in life like any other individual. disABILITY LINK is committed to promoting the rights of ALL people with disabilities.
This entry was posted in Humor, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Tour Guides

  1. ann says:

    thanks this

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